How To Be A Good Tennis Parent
It is deeply unfortunate that a game such as tennis, with all of the associated benefits, has something of a dark reputation off court.
Perhaps more so than any sport, tennis is associated with pushy parenting – now most commonly known as “Ugly Parent Syndrome”. The general concept is that parents of talented tennis children are so phenomenally pushy and demanding, sometimes subjecting their child to mental and even physical abuse in the quest for tennis perfection and super stardom.
Unfortunately, this is not a fabricated condition – it really does exist. Twice Grand Slam winning female tennis player Mary Pierce is perhaps the most famous example of an over-zealous parent. Her father, Jim Pierce, was so abusive to both her and her opponents that he was banned from attending professional tennis matches by the Woman's Tennis Association.
Pierce is a high profile example, but the simple fact remains that those Ugly Parents are everywhere. Parents absolutely convinced that with the right amount of work and application, their child will be lifting the Wimbledon trophy in 10 years time. They resort to all underhand tactics to make their child practice – bribery and threats are the most common. What these parents don't realise is that they are actively destroying their child's love of the game.
Ugly Parent Syndrome is a big pitfall and one that should be avoided at all costs. The greatest thing you can do to make sure you don't push your child too hard is to keep perspective. Some former Ugly Parents have admitted to becoming so after seeing their child hit just one good shot – in that moment, the lights of fame and fortune beckoned and the parent never looked back, even if their child never hit a decent ball again.
If, however, your child does show an extreme natural talent for tennis, nurture it. The biggest mistake Ugly Parents all make is to try and force their child in to practising more, coming down hard on defeats and openly critiquing tactical decisions made during a match. All of this undermines the child, destroys confidence and makes the child far less willing to play tennis.
Be supportive, but keep a distance. If your child has made a mistake or lost a match, they are going to be fully aware of it – don't compound the issue by raising it yourself. Nine times out of ten, they will come to you for advice if you leave them for a couple of hours. If they don't, that's fine too – people process issues in different ways.
You should also never force a child to practice. Although it may seem like a good idea for your child to spend one extra hour working on their forehand, in reality if the child doesn't want to be there, no real progress is going to be made. It's fine to suggest extra practice, but if your child shows reluctance, back down immediately.
Your child needs to love the game. This genuinely is the only way to produce a tennis professional. The children of Ugly Parents tend to retire quickly and never realise their full potential, all due to the pressure placed on them from a young age. By being quietly supportive while retaining a sense of perspective, you are actually more likely to be helping your child to a long-term, successful career.
